1. “It’s Your Destiny”
Trust me there is no god that said “this man shall be the inventor of Hot Pockets.
2. “All You Need is Love”
I’m sure when John Lennon wrote this he was loving a LOT of things. People that love each other will cheat. People that love each other will deceive. It takes a lot more than love to keep two people together.
3. “If it’s Meant To Be It Will Happen”
Keep saying this to yourself wile watching your Netflix marathon. I’m sure Oprah will be calling any second. Meanwhile others are making it happen.
4. “Be With Someone That Makes You Happy”
Only gays and girls and think this. You and you are gonna be together for a long time. You should make you happy.
5. “If You Love Something Let It Go, If It Doesn’t Come Back It Was Never Meant to Be”
Once you let me go I’m saying “goodbye”. If I come back it’s because I forgot my favorite underwear.
6. “True Friends Are Always There For Each Other”
I have friends that will never help me move, but will always buy me a drink when I’m done. If you’re expecting things from your friends maybe you’re the one being shitty.
7. Anyone’s Dreams Can Come True
No they won’t. Not everyone will win an Oscar, not everyone will cure cancer and not everyone will have a threesome with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. You can work your ass off trying but at the end you may be stuck wishing you actually enjoyed yourself more..ha. Dreams are great. They get our engines going. At some point, however, chasing those dreams will bring you down another path that may actually make you much happier than the dream itself. Walt Disney was notorious for saying this, it was easy for him…why? Because his did come true. Ask any Nigerian Slave if they believe this, I’m sure they’ll say something different.