12 Boyfriend Rules

1. Always pick him up from the airport. Don’t drive by and pick him up. Be there when he comes down the stairs. Anyone who’s seen Love Actually knows how important this is.


2. Sometimes leaving him alone for a bit is the best love you can give.


3. Even if he says he doesn’t like flowers. Give them anyway.


4. No matter how annoying…ALWAYS say good things about his family. Even if he doesn’t. At least for the first year.


5.  Cooking him dinner is the best gift you can give. Anything that shows you worked your butt off just for him.


6. Sometimes you don’t need to give any advice. Don’t ever say “well you should have…”. Just listen, support him and say “it’ll be ok”.


7. If he says he doesn’t want help. He doesn’t. He probably wants to impress you. Let him.


8. When in an argument don’t bring other people’s opinions into it. “My Mom thinks…”, “Dana at work thinks…”. They only “think”. They don’t “know”. This is YOUR relationship. Only you two know the whole story. Others don’t.


9. Ask what you can do in bed that would make him crazy. Even if he says there’s nothing…he has something.


10. If he has a favorite movie. Even if you don’t like it. Watch it with him a couple of times, and keep your negative opinions to yourself.


11. Celebrate his birthday. No matter what he says.


12. On second thought cooking BREAKFAST is the best thing you can do for him.


-Aaron Smallets


118 thoughts on “12 Boyfriend Rules

  1. don’t come inside the airport and wait for me to arrive (specially holding a sign with my name) now we have to walk a mile to the car with all 5 pieces of luggage I brought back.
    If I wanted to be alone, I would have stayed single.
    I hope you didn’t waste your money buying me cut flowers that are going to die in 3 days when you could have spent less buying us a plant, bush, fruit tree for our yard/garden/patio.
    blood is thicker than sperm- worship my family until it makes you sick to your stomach because if they don’t like you its wont last.
    cooking me meals is the fastest way to my heart ..and my stomach. cooking naked is a requirement. no need to bust your ass making food just be thankful im not cooking or it would be a mac-n-cheese/pizza night.
    supporting any crazy or brilliant Idea I scheme up is important but id rather you be blunt and honest telling me like it is about what’s bothering me.
    don’t try to help me. its my project im very stubborn and I like things done my way ..of course unless you know a way I can do it faster, cheaper and better then im all ears.
    what exactly is the point of arguing. we both obviously know what we are talking about if we go on and on and on about the subject- agree to disagree and respect my ideas and opinions just as I do yours.
    lol you do not want to know what I want in bed that makes me go crazy. there aren’t enough cocks in this town to invite over for the both of us to share and take turns watching eachother being the camera man or director.
    I don’t really have time to sit around watching tv or movies. I do enjoy going to the theater to see one on occasion but lets not make it a habit. the only time youll hear me spouting out negative comments is while watching a really bad, super nasty porn that makes my stomach turn.
    celebrate my birthday? I don’t plan them- if someone wants to spend time with me on my day then lets just say ill be sure they are on the ‘nice’ list. 99% of the time I don’t want to be reminded im turning another year older. Oh and please don’t spend our money buying me gifts. save it for that new car or cruise in Jan.
    for breakfast I prefer a bowl of cereal (lucky charms) and a tall glass of OJ please

    • Funny,

      I do every one of these things for my BF and I love this list. I wonder if you find guys who are okay with your lengthy list of: “don’t try to help me, pick me up from the airport, flowers…”
      The funny thing is, when my BF does stuff like this I tell him “I love you” even when I didn’t want/need/like it. I learned this from my parent’s who were married for 30+ years, you appreciate what others do for you, and love them for the attempt.

    • This is amazing. “there aren’t enough cocks in this town to invite over for the both of us to share and take turns watching eachother being the camera man or director.” Someone understands.

    • Just comes down to being yourself. This is just a playful list, in reality if someone can’t handle the real you it’s no sense in faking who you are because eventually it’s just going to be time wasted…

    • Le Citoyen libre dit :Le Petit-Fils de la Ve-uvOccuponsenous dabord du plus urgent des gabonais.Vous avez vu dans quelle condition certains eleves debutent l’annee ? ils ont ete entasses dans des locaux non adaptes heureusement que les chinois nous ont construits le stade de l’amitie c’est une honte pour le gouvernement PDG !

      • I know right… God forbid if was all black in the pictures and you mentioned something about it .. than it would be you being racist …

      • I think for me, it’s the setting – snow, outdoor actevitiis, a warm fireplace, a new year, or new beginning around the corner, and so on. It’s a time of hope, faith, and love. It’s the time of year we get cozy under blankets, eat candy, a fall in into a good romance novel.

  2. I’m looking for the exact guy described here! I can be him for you, too – I promise.

    Where are you? Please reveal yourself!

  3. Good points! Definitely going to take these into consideration 🙂 But like…as a minority, I must ask – can we at least get ONE photo of someone not white? Geez =\

  4. I love this article, and love knows no boundaries. Be honest and be yourself in a relationship. Selfless acts are very attractive and trying never goes unnoticed. These are all good tips and even if you don’t believe it they are most certainly true. Life is too short to be a jaded bitter old queen.

  5. In short, just try to make the person’s life better because you are in it. This is a great starting list for those guys who think they don’t know what the other one would like.

  6. 1) I don’t care, I don’t fly that often
    2) Yes, alone time is good time
    3) If you get me flowers, this isn’t winning you any points. I HATE to get flowers – HATE it.
    4) Brown-nosing my family isn’t going to win you any points.
    5) Meh…cook if you want, I know how to use a microwave.
    6) If I ask for advice, feel free to give it
    7) This one is good
    8) Arguments are usually about OUR opinions on things, not someone else.
    9) Uh…no.
    10) I don’t want a robot.
    11) If I say “no”, that’s what I mean.
    12) No, it isn’t. Being there is the best thing you can do for me.

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