Dating: How Cell Phones Have Turned Us Into Assholes

Flaky People

A couple months ago I wrote an article about how texting has actually made things LESS conveniant. Some parts could be extreme. But there is no doubt in my mind, that your service plan, could get in the way of your plans to be serviced: Dating.

I come from an enchanted time, in a land far far away. A magical place where people would say, “Aaron, lets meet at this time at this place” and I say, “OK”- and that’s it, plan is made, the plan happens. No one had to say one thing between that time. Everything was already agreed upon. It was that easy.

Let me just break this down for anyone not born before 1990:

There was a time. When you had ONE phone. That phone was in one place and shared by many people. You didn’t have an answering message or caller ID.

What that means is. If you’re at work and decide you want to stay later to complete a project or meet a coworker for drinks. You couldn’t. Why? You had already made plans and most likely the person you had plans with is waiting for you and has no idea where you are. “Are they dead?” You wouldn’t know. You can’t call or text them because you couldn’t reach them. Even your boss would understand this.

But now…the mobile phone, specifically texting has changed that. How exactly?

Living in cities most of my life flakiness has turned into the norm. Which is sad. I make plans on the assumption they won’t happen.  A date would be planned days ahead time. Then (of course) something would happen. And it happens more often then not-the plans would fall through. Not the day before, but an hour before. It would always be a reason like “my car died”, “I’m going through family issues” or this gem I got last night:


It seems once texting happened people started to get into much more traffic,  have harder times finding a parking spot -oh and a LOT more people got sick or died.

My favorite is: “just looking for a parking spot”. This is one I’d get in LA. This text usually means “I haven’t left yet..but if I say I’m looking for a parking spot that buys me an indefinite amount of time.” Why are you looking for a parking spot at 8:10? How do you think I got here? Before cell phones, what would happen is this:

You would set aside time to plan for this. 

Texting has essentially changed us into ASSHOLES. Just because you can text me you’re late, or that you can’t show up because of a ghonorrea fire up, or your third cousin is sick doesn’t mean it’s OK. Why? Because 80% of the time it’s simply not true. You are late because you had to catch the end of the Family Feud and you’re not showing up because you found something better to do.

Then there are “Family Emergencies”. I’ve heard a lot of these lately. What does that entail? When my family has an emergency. I send them a text saying “hope everything is OK” and move on. My family had a house fire a couple of months ago. I called them. Made sure they were ok. Moved on. Then still went on the date I had that night.

When you tell someone last minute that you can’t show up or that you’re going to be late. You are saying  your time is more valuable then mine.

Even today, If I tell someone I will for sure be somewhere, I am there. Even picking someone up at the airport. You will always find me waiting outside the minute you get your bags and walk out the door. I HATE making people wait.

Ask my brother. He was once an hour late  picking me up and I  screamed at him the whole way home. I’m easygoing about a lot of things: lateness is not one of them.

Sadly I will never learn this trick. I will continue to wait. Still refuse to make plans with others because—tada….I already have plans, that will probably get canceled in five minutes anyway. Maybe there’s a reason Nice and Naive are very similar words.


7 thoughts on “Dating: How Cell Phones Have Turned Us Into Assholes

  1. I don’t think this is the norm. I don’t find the kind of behaviour that you describe happening with my friends. It would not be acceptable. Perhaps you need to talk to them about it, or find better friends.

  2. A friend shared this wisdom:
    Maybe it enables you to weed out who’s a jerk before bothering to meet them. “Your time is so much more valuable than mine? K I’m good thanks.”

  3. It’s not the cell phones making those people assholes, they already are. It just makes it easier to make an excuse BEFORE flaking instead of after.

  4. Acho inasnesetrte mesmo martelarem em cima disso, porque por mais que pareça ser simples, tem muita gente que ainda preenche de forma errada! eu coloco sempre meus dois nomes e meus dois sobrenomes, pra não dá confusão.

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