Y Was Born This Way-Texting Needs to Go

Yeah that’s right I said it. Texting needs to go.

This is one of those technologies that was supposed to make everything faster. Information from someone in an instant. Life will be so much easier now.

But it isn’t.  Texting has made life harder. Life still sucks. Or sux. Or Suckz. In fact, I think the letters “X” and “Z” are responsible for this. Until texting I used the two letters as many times as I called my mother. They were probably jealous of the their popular neighbor “Y”. A greedy letter which can be used as a consonant and a vowel. “Y”  goes both ways.

“Y” was born this way.

But no, nothing is faster. In fact. Texting has slowed us down. “Sorry I’m late.  While I was busy reading your text asking ‘are you here yet’ I drove into someone else’s house.”

Just the simple act of asking someone a question takes about three days. You used to call someone. Ask them a question and It was answered  in time to catch the rest of Oprah.

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Texting has made dating almost impossible. We have no rules for this. Is texting the same as calling? Is it still the same three day rule? Shouldn’t he at least text me two minutes after the date with a “had a good time!”?

Christ just give me something..even a wink emoticon will do! Should I text him??? If I do…and he doesn’t respond till later that night is he just not into me? I’ll just text him a “how are you?”.

He’s not responding.

8 hours later.

“oh yay! he finally texted me!!

***Sorry I didn’t get your text till just now***

“What do you mean you JUST GOT IT??? It’s instant. It’s NOW. How did you JUST get it. Your phone vibrates in your pocket. How did you just NOW get it?? Where’s my Xanax?”

Speaking of prescription drugs. X, and Z also have their hands in that industry as well. The  letter V is making a killing. I digress.

If you miraculously make it past dating, relationships are a nightmare. A simple conversation which could be sweet over the phone can lead to divorce via text.

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Then there are our loving Mothers. For a while we were in the clear. They didn’t know anything about this feature. They said “oh I’ll never use that”. We thought we had it all. Make texting cool….and Mothers won’t use it.  Then one day it started. Some kid somewhere got the first…. Mother Text….

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I don’t know how it started. I think Oprah just said the word “texting” and it was all over.  It used to be we would call our mothers once every three months. “Oh sorry I kept missing your call Mom, I had to sell the vibration device on craigslist to pay for therapy” . Now they have a way to tell us their random thoughts or opinions of our lives anytime, of anyday.

Now,  everyone now has a way to tell us things whenever they want. Asking mundane things like, “How was your day” or “How’s it going?”. Or the worst…”Hey”. If someone called me on the phone and just said “Hey” then nothing else. That would clearly be weird. But for some reason these once rhetoric questions have snuck their way into text messages.  Which means you have to respond to them. I assure you NO ONE wants to know how anyone is.

Obviously, this technology isn’t going anywhere. Text messages run our lives. “I have no time to call this person, god forbid we get into a conversation.” Even when we make plans with another person with the purpose of conversing. Like a coffee date. Without fail the person will say “sorry, I need to respond to this text”.

If you have to say sorry before you do the thing you’re sorry for, you’re not sorry.

Sorry, but I

hate

texting.

TTYL.

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One thought on “Y Was Born This Way-Texting Needs to Go

  1. Pingback: Dating: How Cell Phones Have Turned Us Into Assholes | The Bluepers Diary

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