“This was supposed to be a nice day…I didn’t expect there to be a huge fight”
Glasses don’t throw wine in people’s faces. Housewives do.
“I heard from Rachel, that Carrie said that you said I was a whore.”
1. She probably called you a whore.
2. She probably meant it in the nicest whore-slut way possible.
3. You’re a whore.
“She never calls me, she never comes to my events, she doesn’t act like a true friend.”
That’s strange. Here’s a thought. She ISN’T.
“Who is that new girl over there?”
You mean the new cast member that you’re googling on your phone right now?
“Don’t tell her BUT…”
Bitch there is a CAMERA right there and from what I know Helen Keller is not a housewife.
“She always talks shit behind my back.”
You talk shit. She talks shit. EVERYONE talks shit. The show was originally called ”Real Housewives Talking Shit”.
“I have a new song coming out.”
That’s nice honey. I just made a fresh Stouffer’s Lasagna from scratch.
“I can’t believe she didn’t come to my Vaginal Tweezer Launch Party…I went to her Birthday party.”
She hates you and your shitty party. But she couldn’t find a card that said that.
“I just hope everyone gets along today.”
Unless God turns off the Oxygen. This will not happen.